Thursday, July 8, 2010


I didn't want to admit it,
It was easier to lie,
And hide my hurt and emptiness,
To smile instead of cry.
I didn't want to face the fact,
That my life is full of pain,
And i long to stop my bleeding heart,
And maybe even smile again one day.
'Cause i feel oh-so-forgotten,
So betrayed and so alone,
Without a trace of forgiveness,
And no soul to call my very own.
I didn't want to admit the fact,
That i cannot spread my wings,
And my happiness has totally melted,
Into tears and other things.
It's hard for me to hide the fact,
That my wishes no longer have a home,
And they return to anguish,
So, i bow my head and cry alone.
*****This is a poem that i wrote when Lizzy(my baby sister) was killed in a car accident. Mind you i was only 14 at the time, but it has a lot of meaning behind it.*****

Time has shown me many things
Taking me throughout life and love and many changes
Ive come to realize you complete my daily activities
Allowing me to speak with such sincerity.
From dusk til dawn I envision your smile
And soft full lips...your kiss is my reality now
I use to dream about angels like you
Somewhere in a distant land hand in hand
Love til infinity is how i see us.
You taught me to use my heart and forget my past
To open my eyes and arms to embrace this chance.
I adore you
You my energy everyday
Securing me with your love and laughter
And encouraging me not to be afraid
My train of thoughts approaches me
Seeing my king for what he really is
And how he is seen...
Hes seen as a ruler
To all the distant lands of love...
I'm your prisoner...
You've captured me!!
I love you and never want you to let me go
Please don't turn me loose.
****I don't remember why i wrote this poem but i like it****

It was the happiest day of my life,
Id just found out i was gonna be a mommy!
Just the thought of a little person growing in side of me,
Made me glow and the happiest person alive.
Everything seemed to be going great and as planned,
I couldn't have asked for anything else,
Other then the daddy's helping hand in getting through the scary time.(1st trimester)
But everything seemed as if there was something wrong,
One July 27Th 2009 when i awoke in horrible unbearable pain then i realized for sure something wasn't right.
So, i went to the hospital where they ran a bunch of test and told me that there wasn't anything they could do,
I remember thinking, "OMG, I waited to long and my baby's not gonna make it."
Then after awhile the doctor came in and said I'm sorry but you're having a miscarriage.
When i heard those words i felt as if my heart had been ripped out.
I mean the one great thing happening in my life was taken from me,
And all i can remember thinking was, "are they sure that my baby's really gone?"
But here i am 5 months later and i know it's true now my baby's really gone.
It seems like as soon as i found out i was gonna be a mommy it was taken from me!
Someone be honest please does this mean God didn't think i was gonna be a good mommy?
Because, all Ive ever dreamed of is being a mommy and now all of that's gone!
***This is a poem i wrote to my baby when i had the miscarriage last year. This is only the second time anyone has ever even heard of it's existence.***

May eighteenth is the horrible day
My sunshine was taken away.
And it's about to be seven years to the day
That I was told you were gone.
Lizzy there isn't a day that goes by that you aren't on my mind,
I know you re safe with God now
But i just wish you we rent gone.
There's still days that i look for you to come walking through the door,
Just to tell me all about your day at school.
God, I miss you Lizzy
I wonder everyday where you'd be in life if you were still here.
But ill never know
Because you re safe in heaven with God watching over all of us.
May eighteenth will always be a hard day for many people
Who sit and honor the memory of a very special little girl.
But I'm just glad you re safe in God's arms!
I love you and miss your sissy!!
****A poem i wrote on the seven year ANGELversary this year****

Two lost young petals
Wondering souls
I see the dream you seek
Follow me please, if you dare.
The dream is coming
For you and me.
I return by your side
With a heart in my hand
It is like a bright fire dancing
To the slow music turning.
My heart as smooth as ivory
Has turned into lonely, sulfur.
I retire my heart now to you
Love me because Ive always loved you!!
****Wrote this one with a few couples in mind...Rory is going to involve it into his wedding somehow because it touched his heart so much.****

Those are all that i feel are good enough to get feed back on so please be honest and tell me what you think of these poems. Everyone is pushing me to enter them into a contest but i would like to have more feed back on them before i decide whether or not I'm going to try a contest!! I hope you like them and they don't make to many people cry...