Sunday, September 12, 2010

Not knowing what to think...

You know they say in life you live && you learn. Well i do believe that, but somethings i just don't understand why we have to go through them to learn something.

Someone very special was brought into my life just a short while ago but it was for a reason. Neither one of us have quiet figured out why yet, but i know that there's a reason && it's a good reason. Last night after a heated conversation with my parents && being told that i was going to be kicked out for like the 25Th time in the last month i decided that i need to be an adult. So, the decision that i made was to move out of my parents house. Maybe with this being the decision that i made things will become better between my family && i! I love my family && they mean the world to me, but sometimes i feel as if they don't appreciate me, want me around, nor do they think that I'm worth having around. They will always be a major part of my life but i think right now they want/need a break from me. So, I'm gonna do this on my own for a little bit && then when i get the sign i will talk to them so we can work things out.

There's some things that i took for guaranteed with my parents && i truly am sorry for that. They were just little things but i see now that i stop and think about it why it would upset them && make them think that i was being selfish. For that I'm truly sorry mom && dad. I will prove to you guys that i can make it && I'll be okay...I want nothing more then to make you && everyone else in our family happy. I wont always be a failure in everybody eyes. Watch you will for the second time in my life tell everyone how proud of me you are && that I'm doing something you always knew i could do.

If there's one thing i need and want to say it's that no matter where im at or what i'm doing i will always love my family....I love you mommy && daddy && shanda that'll never change in a million years!!

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