Thursday, April 14, 2011

Brain running crazy...

Okay I don't know where to start or where to end so please bare with me. I'm so flustered && confused at the fact someone can/does tell me "You know I like you alot, a lot more then you even really know or can imagine. But right now I just want to mess around nothing serious just get ass from anyone && everyone who is willing to just do that with me. Although once im ready for a relationship you'll be the first to know beautiful!" Seriously, where does anyone && I mean ANYONE get off thinking that is okay to say to someone?? I mean yes he holds a very huge spot in my heart && has for years but im not the back burner girl or keep her on the hook by telling her things she wants to hear every now && then...I'm better then that && deserve someone who would never even imagine saying something like that to me let alone actually acting on those words.
Yes, I know I can't pull any random guy I want outta a crowd, but I was raised knowing I deserve to be treated with respect && the same way I will treat a special someone who deserves to be spoiled the way I know I can spoil him!! I mean yes, I may let my heart normally get involved to soon but this is a life long crush, he was/is my best friend, && we've known each other for years so this is a tad different for me this time lol!! But I'm not about to settle for less then I deserve...my Daddy's always said I'm his princess && I believe I have a prince out here somewhere.
Even though the other night when I wasn't able to sleep && my mind was going crazy I decided to put a time limit on my love life haha...I said if I'm not married, engaged, or in a serious relationship by the time I'm 25 I'm staying single with no kids the rest of my life lol!!! Yes, the million dollar question to be answered on what made me decide this is...I look at it as I'm half way to 50 everyone else I know will be or already is married with children so I'm the lost cause && should just except the fact that I'ma be single haha!! The main part that sucks is I hate being alone && I love love love children so I hope this life plan isn't the one that comes true for me. I'd love to be someone's one && only to grow old with && live the perfect fairy tale(I know it isn't always perfect but that's part of life. If it means something to you && is worth fighting for then it's gonna be perfect for you).
Anyways, with all of that off of my chest && out for ya'll to give me feed back on I think I'ma call it a night!!! Night && sweet dreams :)
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7 comments:

  1. Sweetheart, I promise if you stop worrying and stop looking for just a little bit. Focus on just you for a while, your prince charming will sneak up on you and tangle you up in a wonderful love that your looking for. And yes i know its freaking hard when your dealing with douche-bag jerks that do nothing but string you along and most of your friends are married or preg. i get that, but honey look around several of OUR friend's marriages is falling apart and because they didn't have the right stuff in the beginning. And yes i know each one has a different reason and there are other things that are in the equation of there issues but something caused it.

    Please dont decide right now that you want to be done with love and guys, its like when we were waiting to hit a specific age. Now that age has come and gone, we are all wishing we wouldnt have rushed it along.
    I love you Sami. I will always be here just remember that.

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  2. Aww thank you Ash...I'm honestly trying not to look for love, but seeing so many people my age or that I've grown up with married, pregnant or both makes me very depressed actually!! I've slowly been working on me though...my family has even finally noticed the changes so it makes me feel like I'm doing something right. If I had female friends to go out with I think id be a little better. Idk becoming a hermit when I moved home hasn't been a good choice at all lol.
    I love you to Mrs. Woosley && im always here for you as well!!! I promise no rushing marriage && the time frame is just to chill my brain honestly haha...no more douche bags they don't deserve this right??

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  3. The most important thing to do, right now in your life-- is know this; you are chase worthy... you are worthy of pursuit.

    You have every quality a good man deserves and needs in a soul mate. You HAVE to believe that. Everyone has faults... sure... but in finding your soul mate, these faults will be matched to someone who takes the time to make you a better person and you will do the same for him.

    Putting a time limit on finding a soul mate is putting a time limit on God. Maybe God has your soul mate fighting for our freedom in a foreign land... waiting and praying for you right now... praying that his future wife is having a great day and keeping him in her thoughts. LONG before I met Daniel I still prayed for him... I thought of him all the time. The choices I made, even before I met him, I made for us as a couple.

    The biggest choice I made was to keep my heart just for him. I didn't really date anyone till I knew it he was the one. Sure guys come and go, and you have given your heart to others before. But take this time to put your heart pieces back together so that you have a big heart to give this Mr. Right. Work on loving yourself and being more confident... being certain in yourself and KNOWING that you have a other half out in the world looking for you.

    There is life after 25... trust me! I know how daunting the 25 mark is! I planned on having a handful of kids by the time I was 25... God had other plans. You just got to roll with the punches and know that everything is perfect in HIS time.

    Sam, I can honestly say that I know how you are feeling... I know I shared my letter to my future husband with you before. I wrote it just weeks before meeting Daniel. I felt so alone before I found Daniel... and all the "looking" for Mr. Right left me feeling so discouraged. I know it is cliche to say "stop looking and you will find him", but countless couples can contest to it. Daniel wasn't the kind of man I was looking for... seriously!!! If I was still looking for my Mr. Right, I would have missed my life! The kind of man I was looking for was not the kind of man I needed to be with. God knew that... I didn't. Letting God do the match making saved me from making mistakes and waiting longer.

    I am praying for you sugar... right now this seems so big in your life, but once this piece of the Sam puzzle is placed, you will see how small the piece really is. There is so much more to the picture in the puzzle. I am excited to see where God brings you and the picture HE has for you!

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  4. EXACTLY, Very well put Sarah, Sami you know the same thing goes for Robert and I.

    And you just say the word you wanna hang out ill come kid nap you and we shall hang out.

    (no more douche bags)

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  5. Wow...you said everything I've been needing to hear!! Sarah you && I are very much so alike it seems we follow the same paths. I think you're my twin && we were separated honestly...ic do need to work on me because until I LOVE me God isn't gonna let anyone else love me! Maybe I already know my Prince, but because I see him as not "my type" I've over looked him, or I've never even met him but he is praying for me like you say!! I know I've been praying a lot lately about so much...I've let to much build up without asking God for help because I'm stubborn && sometmes think I don't need every ounce of help, but I DO!!! I need to learn to except the help && lessons though...

    Yes, you shared the letter to your future husband with me && I could/can relate to it very much. I take my time limit back because I don't want to put a time limit on God, he has a plan for me just like he did/does for you, Ashley && everyone!!! His plans are greater then I can imagine or even know although at times I wish I could read a tad into my future just to see a glimpse of what's in store for me/us! :)
    Also, yes I have some huge piece of my heart that I've given out but I'm ready to mend em so I can give my total && complete huge loving heart to my soul mate when the time comes about. Even though I've started to mend && use super glue to glue it back together there's still a few pieces that are loose that I need to fully deal with to make sure I'm fully full hearted like you mentioned!! The "stop looking && let love find you" is a heart thing but obviously it's how God meant it to work since that's how it's worked for so many important people in my life!!

    Thank you for this pep talk ladies it's exactly what I needed to get my head level again && where it should've been for a while now!! I know I have a tough day coming up soon, but im better prepared to deal with em now with less unnecessary things weighting on my mind!! Ima get thru this && can't wait to see where God takes me in life!!! Full trust with my life plan is no longer in my hands again but in the Lords!!! Thank you again Ash && Sarah :)

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  6. Sometimes you gotta find the one who is worth your time and willing to make you worth their time as well.

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  7. Thank You Angela I totally agree...at this point im not looking for anything because i needa have fun && so my own thing!! He's gonna find me :) hehe

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