Sometimes i just dont understand what to do or think...Many of my friends and people that I hold very close to me have been telling me that I shouldnt talk to someone that means a lot to me, but at the end of the day all i can do is cry and wish that i was talking to that person or even cuddling up next to him. I know that they sayin is to follow your heart that it wont lead you in the wrong direction...But why does it feel like if you follow your heart everyone else that you hold so close to you is either going to be upset or you might even loose them for making the choice that you feel is right for you?? There's so many hard difficult questions running through my head right now and i dont feel like i can really go to the people that i normally do so instead i'm gonna blab and vent on here. Hopefully my follower may be able to give me some advice on what i maybe should do...
Right now i'm gonna put a picture up of the person that i'm talking about in this blog... 
Well as some of you know this is me with David and i honestly feel like he is the love of my life and i'll never be happy unless we're together! I'm doing my own thing as he is his own right now but we talk daily...People that know that we're still talking have major issues with it and tell me that i'm stupid for talk to him or even seeing him but i can't really help it. When we dont talk i feel so alone and like i have nothing other then school adn trying to better myself.
Well as some of you know this is me with David and i honestly feel like he is the love of my life and i'll never be happy unless we're together! I'm doing my own thing as he is his own right now but we talk daily...People that know that we're still talking have major issues with it and tell me that i'm stupid for talk to him or even seeing him but i can't really help it. When we dont talk i feel so alone and like i have nothing other then school adn trying to better myself.
So, I know that i more than likely sound like an idiot or like i can't live without him. I can live without him but i dont WANT to live without him as a part of my life. There's many nights that i still to this very day cry myself to sleep hoping that when i wake up in the morning David will call me and tell me that he has a court date and is going about gettin Angel the legal way...That would make me the happiest woman alive because that would mean that we're one step closer to me and him actually being together again, and Joyce not bein able to control him and his decisions of who he wants to be with or doesnt want to be with.
Today David told me some news that sent chills over my body...He told me that he talked to an Army recruiter at work today and is seriously thinking about going into the military so that he can better his future and know that if anything is/was to happen to him Angel would have everything she would ever need. I mean if he seriously wants to go into the military i will support him a 150%, but at the same time i'm afraid of totally loosing him all together. I mean if all we can ever be is friends then so be it but if he is to marry Joyce & have a military life with her i will never even talk to him or anything again. Does this sound stupid? I kinda feel like i'm an idiot for even thinking that way or like i'm being selfish which isn't how i'm trying to be at all.
But i think for tonight i'm done bitching and complaining becuz this is a pretty long blog and it seems like all i'm doing is complaining instead of being the supportive person that i know i am. But i just wanna say I love David Whipple and he means the world for me and i'm gonna keep talking to him becuz the people that matter will support my decision and the ones who dont never really truly cared about me and what makes me happy!! Night all my followers....feel free to give me your input on this blog please :)
Honestly I think he will never leave Joyce. She is easy... David likes taking care of people, it is his personality. And he will always have to take care of her... he can be "the man of the house" and she will never have a job... its what he wants.
ReplyDeleteI think he he just stringing you along. Keeping you on the sidelines for when Joyce dumps him again... that way he can get laid in the time between when Joyce dumps him and then takes him back.
Daniel thinks the only reason he stays with Joyce is because she is easy... she puts out... Why else would he stay with her. There are better, less insane ways to get custody. He knows that. What he is doing is dangerous and will put Angel in counseling for the rest of her life. He knows that.
So the only benefits for David, in staying with Joyce is that he gets sex whenever he wants... and he gets to "play house" he gets to be the daddy that goes to work and comes home to his family... even though he is not living there right now. His plans are to have a home for them.
He needs help... he needs some tough love. He needs people to stop saving him... he needs to learn the hard way.
Ok i totally see what you're saying and now that it's put out into blunt terms to me i think that i just need to go to school better myself and get me on the straight and narrow and then go from there.
ReplyDeleteI will always love David but i REFUSE to be the fall back girl or the "booty call" when joyce breaks up with him and then tries to get back with him. i'm better then that and i'm NOT easy therefore i dont and wont give out when he says he wants it which is the cause of plenty of arguements.
I agree that he needs to go about getting angel the correct way because right now all that him and joyce both are doing in screwing with her head and making her extremely confused which isn't right at all she's a baby. He can keep "playing house" but i wont sit around and be a part of it. Because if you think about it now a days woman work as well as the "man of the house" because in today's socity that's what has to be done to servive unless the "man" makes an awesome amount on his own. I will NOT just sit at home and not be independent because of a man i wasnt raised that way and i wont change that.
Yes i love him and would do anything for him but i want to be able to do the things that i love and not have to relie on someone else if i want or need something. I know and believe the man if suppose to take care of the woman but at the same time the woman is suppose to take care of the man as well in a marriage, relationship or anything else in that matter.
So, i hope that you and Daniel dont think that i'm a bad person or that i'm weak person because im not at all!! And i greatly appricate your imput on this whole thing.